“Criticism, like rain, should be gentle enough to nourish a man’s growth without destroying his roots” (Frank A. Clark 1860 –1936). Receiving feedback is necessary for growth. I had just gotten back the results of a survey. For the most part, 80 percent of the comments were encouraging. However. I couldn’t help noticing something about myself. Instead of focusing on the 80 percent, my brain clung like Velcro to the 20 percent not-so-encouraging comments. I realized I was at risk of creating a story that was not accurate. The whole story was that I had done well, but there were still improvements to be made. We have to be careful that we tell ourselves the whole story and not just the part of the story that glorifies our shortcomings.
Awareness
The brain is attracted to negativity like bees to honey. Therefore, it is important to be aware that you can be your own worst enemy. Most of us are our harshest critic. When you make a mistake, do you tend to never forget it, although the world continues and forgets? Do you suffer guilt and regret as a result? These emotions are heavy and dark. They can weight you down and strip you of healthy energy and vitality.
So, it is important to be aware of the stories you tell yourself. Some of these narratives you have carried with you from childhood. They become connected to your identity—an entire system that supports your beliefs, behaviors, and assumptions. The problem with these stories is they are not complete, and they tend to be focused on the negative part of life. They are only part of the whole. What about the other stories?
The Other Stories
The other stories speak of your strengths. They speak of your resilience; they speak of your tenacity. These stories show what you had to be in order to stand today. You are alive. These are the narratives that tell the whole story of who you truly are. These stories have the power to reshape your life. They hold the key to your true potential as a human being. But so often the brilliancy of who you truly are gets smothered by shame, fear and anger—the voice of the inner critic.
Doing Life Together
Life is the greatest schoolteacher. It throws you tests to refine you. However, in the midst of adversity, your perspective can become limited, or distorted. These challenges can affect your health if they become overwhelming for the body. Each human body is unique and, therefore, will respond differently. Diseases such as obesity, cardiovascular, depression, anxiety can affect the body that is in a stress state for a prolonged period. That’s why it is important not to do life alone.
As an Integrative Health Coach, I am trained to walk with clients on their life journey. I am there to remind clients of what they can be during times of difficulty or loss. I work with clients to help them recraft their stories into whole stories of triumph and hope. Are you tired of listening to your inner critic and getting only a part of your story? If so, it is time to discover and give voice to your whole story.
